Things not to say........

A friend of mine is currently pregnant and posted a list of things not to say to a pregnant women and it was a great article. It got me thinking, is there a list of things not to say to an infertile couple? Because lately I’ve heard so many things that were hurtful. I’m sure no one meant any harm but I thought a list might be nice to have. I’ll resist printing and mass distributing, instead here are my least favorite things to be told and links to a couple other blogs I found helpful J

Just Relax!

PCOS is a medical condition, relaxing won’t make it any better!  One of the bloggers wrote “you wouldn’t tell a cancer patient to relax and it will get better” it’s the same principle, we have a medical condition that needs medical attention, not relaxation or mediation or vacation or whatever else.

Your young, you have time!

I’m glad you think I’m young and by the numbers that might be a true statement but I don’t feel young! I don’t want to be an “old mom” I wanted to have children before I turn 30 and I’ve got a few years but you never know how long it will take to conceive, if we ever do! I’ll be the judge of my life and my timeline.

Take my Kids

As cute as they can be, no thanks! I love babysitting and children but I don’t permanently want your children. Yes it may seem very selfish but I want my own baby! I want to get fat and ugly and waddle and experience labor, I want the entire experience of having a baby.

When god wants to, he will give you a baby

I’m pretty much atheist, I have been for many years so let’s just avoid the religion talk all together.

Your luck you have all the free time/couple time…………

I get this a lot when I tell people I don’t have children yet but we are trying. It might sound glamour’s and amazing, maybe someday I’ll miss these times. But it’s not all that fun sitting home alone every night, spending my weekends cleaning the house. Quite frankly, I’m bored a lot! I have hobbies; I have craft projects started that aren’t finished. I have scrapbooks half complete, etc.. I have time to finish them but I chose not to. Maybe you would call it depression or some other medical term but I don’t seem to enjoy my hobbies as much these days. I think I’d rather spend my evenings washing baby clothes, giving baths, changing diapers. Free time isn’t as wonderful as you think when you know there is something else you could be doing.

Have you tried IVF?

I’m not to that step yet, we have a couple other options we are trying first. However  if/when I get to that point, I’ll gladly try it as soon as you give me the $15,000 it costs that insurance doesn’t cover.

I found some other lists I found true and helpful, check them out!

http://open.salon.com/blog/jeanette_d/2009/08/28/top_10_things_not_to_say_to_someone_experiencing_infertility

http://blog.attainfertility.com/2011/12/infertility-holiday-what-to-say/

http://summastarlet.blogspot.com/2011/02/things-not-to-say-to-infertile.html?zx=be45afb5cf33e16d