I can't tell

" I can't tell if its killing me or making me stronger" I found this quote and it pretty much sums up how I currently feel. I had a friend announce she's pregnant recently. I am happy and excited for her,but I'm having a hard time dealing with it. I broke down and just cried, I'm jealous it's not me, I'm angry at my body, I'm angry at myself. It brought on a ton of emotions I'm not quite sure how to process all of this. I've talked to other people who have had to deal with these feelings and there is no universal secret answer for how to Cope, just put on your big girl pants and deal with it. So, if you are one of my friends or family members that is pregnant or you get pregnant soon, know that I am happy for you! Please don't be afraid to tell me, i've found email or text works well, it gives me time to process and deal with it alone. It hurts but i'll try to be strong and deal with it. Also know I am excited for you but I might not be able to show it as much, I don't have a good poker face. Health Update: I started taking the metformin friday night, I'm only taking 500mg right now. I'm suppose to slowly build up to 1500mg. the first couple days were rough, it made me all jittery and hungry but eating didn't make me feel better. I think with any medication, your body needs time to adjust. It seems to be fine now, I take it at night and I feel ok in the morning. I also started trying to eat breakfast every day, even if it's just a banana. I think having food in my stomach seems to help the medication. The last two months I've been doing ovaluation tests daily, since I actually had cycles. I never really did the ovaluation tests before because I never had cycles so there was no reason to. I never got a postive ovaluation test on the last cycle. I'm currently on day 16 and still no postive test results. The doctor said days 12-20 are the days most women ovaluate so I'm defintley going to continue testing for another week or more. On the other hand, she said with the metformin I might not have cycles again and therefore, don't expect to ovaluate. In hindsight, I shouldn't have started the metformin until after this cycle was over, at least to day 20. But she told me to start metformin when ever I wanted and I forgot about the ovalutation testing sill going on.