Update

I kind of forgot about this and haven't updated lately. I did finish the prometrium and a cycle, a very painful one but at least I had one! I went in for an ultrasound after the cycle and the Dr says everything looks good, no cysts or problems that they could find. Then they gave me clomid for 5 days, this was the first time i've ever been on clomid. We did Ovaluation testing starting on day 10 and they said to test for 7-10 days. I've tested after every cycle for the last several months and never had a positive so I was hoping the Clomid would help. I kept testing and getting negative after negative.

I was about to give up testing, but I decided I'd do a couple more days just to be sure. I've read so many different things, most women ovaluate days 14-17, 11-20, on day 14, basically every women is different and you never know. Then on Day 18 I figured I'd take a test, might as well use the last couple test strips I had. I went to go play on facebook while I was waiting the couple minutes for the test results. Scott went in the bathroom and looked at the test. He shriked with excitement and asked me what two pink lines meant. I said oh please, don't tease me like that, I know damn well there is only one line on that stinking test. I got up and went in the bathroom to see what he was so estatic for and sure enough, there it was. Two pink lines!

We were so excited, I can't even imagine how excited we will be if we ever get a positive pregnancy test. I have to go the doctor for some lab test this week and I'll ask them how long it will be before we can test for pregnancy. From what i've read and gathered, for the most accurate results you have to wait 19 days past ovaluation. So this is the infamous two week wait, and it's killing me.

And so at least we've got some positive news, now we just sit around and wait..........

No pain No gain right?

I took prometrium for 7 days, last week. Sunday was the last night I took it. Prometrium is just another form of progesterone, to balance hormones and bring on a period. Everyone was on tip toes around me but I actually found I wasn't too cranky on the prometrium, and Scott agrees :) The week I took it seemed to be fine but now that i've stopped it, I feel terrible. I've had horrible stomach pains / nausea all week, I assumed it was because the drugs is suppose to bring on a period and usually before a period I get cramps. Well it's been a couple days and no period yet and the stomach ache hasn't subsided. Ab pain and cramps are side effects of the drug so I guess I'll keep on dealing with it and hopefully a period starts soon.

I'm also going to blame the meds for my lack of sleep and tiredness all week. It couldn't have been the fact I was up friday and saturday until like 2am and got my body off my normal sleep pattern. Scott graduated college last friday so we had a party afterwards at our house. I'm so proud of you honey! Then Saturday was St. Patty's day so we had a party at my cousins house with a bunch of my family. It was a very long weekend and long week but its finally friday so I think I'm going to spend the upcoming weekend in my pj's in bed.

Change in the game plans

I've been on metformin for 3 months and no periods, no changes. I called my OBGYN and she said that was normal on metformin and just continue to take the metformin. I didn't like that idea, she had told me previously how bad it was not to have a cycle and how much damage it can do to your body. So I decided it was time for a second opinon.

I went to a new OBGYN specializing in infertility issues on friday. I gave him my history and my current situation and medications list. He agreed it wasn't normal to miss periods for several months and we needed to induce one. I've been on progesterone before and I really don't care for it, it makes me rather cranky. But it's necessary to have a period so here we go again.

The new doctor suggested I take progestrone to get a cycle going again, start on some prental vitamins and after a month or two of this, we will start clomid and that should really help.

He suggested I continue metformin, hopefully it helps lose weight. I've lost about 10 lbs in the last 3 months, it's not much but it's a start right?

I really don't care for taking pills or medications, allergy medications and aleve is about all I'll take. But PCOS and all these issues have made me take more, and if that's what has to be done to have a baby i'll do it. I've been reasearching every medication I'm on and I feel they are safe. I'm currently taking 8 pills a day, 8! Ridiculous. But 3 metformin, 2 allergy meds, 2 prenatal and 1 progesterone, making me feel like a drug addict!

Is there a god?

it's been a while since i've posted, nothing new to share :( I didn't have a cycle in January, tests keep coming back negative. Still on the metformin and just working on making myself healthier.

I came across this today in a blog, "why would god give us a strong desire to have children yet give us infertility? It's like torture. I usually keep my religion (or lack there of) and beliefs to myself because I don't like aruging with people and being told I'm wrong. I have no problem with any one believing any religion, that's the great thing about America we have the freedom to chose. I chose to not believe in anything, I'm pretty much atheist. I came to this conclusion many years ago and sometimes I question it and i've studied other religons but nothing seems to make sense to me other then there is nothing. This question of god giving us the desire to have children and infertility just makes me feel more Atheist. If there is/was a god or deity of some sort, why would they feel the need to torture us so bad. Just something to ponder....

Baby Fever

I've been seeing and hearing a lot about babies lately! Why is it when you want something, it seems to be around you all the time? In the last two weeks, TWO WEEKS! I've had one friend announce she is pregnant, two friends had babies and one is due in February. It's getting a little emotional and hard to handle. I'm so happy for them but I'm also raging jealous, I can't wait until the day I can say I'm pregnant and the day I actually become a mother.

I can't tell

" I can't tell if its killing me or making me stronger" I found this quote and it pretty much sums up how I currently feel. I had a friend announce she's pregnant recently. I am happy and excited for her,but I'm having a hard time dealing with it. I broke down and just cried, I'm jealous it's not me, I'm angry at my body, I'm angry at myself. It brought on a ton of emotions I'm not quite sure how to process all of this. I've talked to other people who have had to deal with these feelings and there is no universal secret answer for how to Cope, just put on your big girl pants and deal with it. So, if you are one of my friends or family members that is pregnant or you get pregnant soon, know that I am happy for you! Please don't be afraid to tell me, i've found email or text works well, it gives me time to process and deal with it alone. It hurts but i'll try to be strong and deal with it. Also know I am excited for you but I might not be able to show it as much, I don't have a good poker face. Health Update: I started taking the metformin friday night, I'm only taking 500mg right now. I'm suppose to slowly build up to 1500mg. the first couple days were rough, it made me all jittery and hungry but eating didn't make me feel better. I think with any medication, your body needs time to adjust. It seems to be fine now, I take it at night and I feel ok in the morning. I also started trying to eat breakfast every day, even if it's just a banana. I think having food in my stomach seems to help the medication. The last two months I've been doing ovaluation tests daily, since I actually had cycles. I never really did the ovaluation tests before because I never had cycles so there was no reason to. I never got a postive ovaluation test on the last cycle. I'm currently on day 16 and still no postive test results. The doctor said days 12-20 are the days most women ovaluate so I'm defintley going to continue testing for another week or more. On the other hand, she said with the metformin I might not have cycles again and therefore, don't expect to ovaluate. In hindsight, I shouldn't have started the metformin until after this cycle was over, at least to day 20. But she told me to start metformin when ever I wanted and I forgot about the ovalutation testing sill going on.

Doctor Appt 1/5

I went to the doctor yesterday for a follow up on the hormone medication and just to talk about where we are and what we are doing. The hormone medication worked for the couple months I was on it so were hoping my body will regualte itself now. The doctor prescribed me metformin, a medicine that is commonly used to treat diabetes but it's been proven to help PCOS women ovaluate. It also helps with metabolism, so hopefully it will help with the diet. We are going to try this for a couple months and see how my body reacts. The doctor really wants me to "be healther" and lose some weight before we jump into clomid or anything like that. I've been thinking about weight watchers or something but it all seems complicated. I've been tracking on sparkpeople.com and i like it, it's fairly easy to use.

Metformin can make you sick, the doctor warned me most women have a lot of nausea and sickness while on this medication, so not to confuse it with any morning sickness or anything else. On the bright side, that might help with the diet.

the good news out of all of this is I get to stop the progestrone, hormone drugs! Maybe I'll be a little nicer now :)